One of the Good Ones

Dating is not something that I have done much of.  For the sake of argument, let’s say that I have had 20 years to date (17-37).  Out of those twenty years, I spent 14 with my late husband… four as a girlfriend, 1 as a fiancé, and almost nine as a wife.  I have been with John now for well over 2 years.  So, that leaves me with 4 years of being “completely free” to date.  One of those years was when I was 17.  And the remaining three were immediately after Dale’s death.  So that “freedom” wasn’t completely available to me.

During that period of time after Dale’s death, I did a great amount of soul searching.  I spent most of that time thinking about relationships and love and what it all meant to me.  What was my vision for what a happy and healthy relationship looks like?  What kind of relationship did want?  Did I even want one… did I ever want to marry again?  The thought used to frighten me.

After a while, my thoughts started to define themselves.  I became more comfortable and confident in not only what I wanted, but more importantly, what I needed in a relationship.  Admittedly, I entered back into to dating world before that, I just needed to get my feet wet.  But it wasn’t long after that I was dating with a focus and a purpose.  That may not necessarily sound spontaneous and fun, but when you are a single mother and have experienced all that I had, my approach to dating was quite understandable.

I had many first and only dates.  I had one that stuck, for about 3 months.  He was like having a first all over again, because he was the first for so many things after Dale.  And he broke my heart.  But then John came along.  It wasn’t love at first sight.  I can’t even tell you the moment that I fell in love with him.  What I can tell you is that I knew, from our first date, that he was different than all of the others.  My first impression of him was that he was genuine, honest, and would dote on the one he loves.

I came across an article today on Facebook, “20 Signs Your Boyfriend is One of the Good Ones,” and thought that it would be perfect to share.  Fast forward my life two years from that first date and my first impression still holds true.  He is that and so much more, and this article captures many of the reasons why I am no longer frightened to marry again and am very much looking forward to 10/8/16, when I can call myself John’s wife.

“20 Signs Your Boyfriend is One of the Good Ones” by 

1.  He doesn’t play games.

2.  And he would never try to control or manipulate you.

3.  He knows how to cheer you up, even at your lowest points.

4.  He thinks you’re equally as beautiful whether you’re dressed up for a night out, or wearing sweats for a Netflix marathon.

5.  He knows how important it is for you to spend time with your family.

6.  He genuinely believes that you can do anything on your own.

7.  But he’s always there to keep you grounded when you need it.

8.  He doesn’t pick fights or create drama where there is none.

9.  He’s emotionally stable and mood swings are rare.

10.  Although he doesn’t always know how to relate to you, he invariable tries his best to learn.

11.  He listens to you and remembers little details.

12.  He’s incredibly honest (sometimes to a fault).

13.  He’s secure in your relationship, and knows what he wants.

14.  You trust each other.  He would never cheat on you, and he knows that if you tell him you’re out with the girls, that’s exactly what you’re doing.

15.  There have been several adorably failed attempts at romance.

16.  And although his gifts may not be what you wanted, he always puts a lot of love and thought into them.

17.  He says what he means, and he means what he says.

18.  He rarely (if ever) raises his voice.

19.  You two have the most fun when you’re together, whether it’s just cooking dinner and washing dishes, or going out for laser tag.

20.  Most importantly, he is your best friend.  

Boyfriend, husband… if you have one of these, don’t let go!  If you don’t, just know that they do exist!!  Don’t settle for anything less than what is best for you.