Go Ahead… Be Selfish!

This one goes out to all of the moms (and dads) out there that bend over backwards for their children on a daily basis, yet fail to take some time for themselves.  I’m here to tell you to STOP!  Don’t stop taking care of your kids, but START taking care of yourself!  It’s okay to do that. Truly.  Trust me.  And if you don’t, trust Ryan… 😉

It’s time, isn’t it?  You just don’t have enough time in the day to squeeze yourself in.  I know, its hard.  Life can be hectic and between jobs, kids, spouses, and the homestead… there literally are very few extra moments in the day to do anything else besides that list above.  However…

And the good news is, you are with yourself 24/7!  So when you have those moments of freedom, take them.  Use them wisely and enjoy them.  Guilt-free!

However, as awesome as that hour, 20 minute, or 5 minute break may be, if it only happens randomly and if you are not spending it productively (I’ll explain later), it’s not going to have a lasting impact.

It really is a lifestyle and like a diet, you may have to change yours.  

Why?   Well, in two words, Bad Moms.  Admittedly, I saw the movie.  I laughed.  Alot.  I really enjoyed it.  But… there is nothing wrong or bad if you let things go a bit so that you have some time to be… you!  You are your child(ren)’s first and most significant role model.  They will learn from you unconditional love, hard work, and sacrifice… just by taking care of their basic needs.  They will learn patience, empathy, determination, and perhaps most importantly, self-respect when they see that you can wear many hats and take care of many people, but you do not lose yourself or your self value in the midst of it all.  You will be a superhero!  You will be their superhero!

What?  What do you do with some time to yourself, to just be you?  We all need some time to do “nothing.”  Shopping, mani-pedi, even reading a good book would be things that can bring you immediate joy and relaxation, but I would consider to be unproductive and short-lived joy.  If you are an avid reader, perhaps you should try to write your own story (or blog!).  Consider joining a book club, you will meet new people, have adult conversations and have the opportunity to share your thoughts and opinions about something that you are passionate about.  Yes, passionate (it gets to be bold and italicized).  Find a passion!  It can be anything… meditation, crafts, fitness, music, drawing!  If you start small, any of these can begin relatively cheap or even free and with little time spent.  Work it into your schedule and when your passion really starts to become alive within you, you will find a way to expand it!  I have seen so many people starting their own businesses and making money that started with them making a change and taking a chance on their passion!  If you feel uninspired and don’t know where to start, think about who you were and what you did before you had a family.

How and When?  Some of you have multiple children.  Some of you have multiple jobs.  Some of you are stretched thin for time and energy just by taking care of the basics.  If you find yourself in this category, start small.  Perhaps this means that you wake up 10 minutes earlier or go to bed 10 minutes later.  Better yet, put your kids to bed earlier. Maybe this means that you leave the kids at their after school program until closing time.  Or maybe you multi-task by sketching during their hockey game or writing during their dance practice.  Let go a bit at home, it’s okay if you cannot eat off of the floors in your home.  Give your children chores at home to help alleviate the pressures off of you and you will be teaching your children so many valuable lessons by giving them some responsibilities.   Remember, you are a mom.  You know how to juggle and accomplish things.  You know how to make things happen.  Just do it for you this time!

Who?  Who will be effected by this change in lifestyle?  Well… more than likely, your entire family.  The severity will depend on the dynamics and functionality of your family.  There might even be some growing pains to get through, but it will be worth it.  It really will be.  Think about how awesome it will be when you share that family album that you made with your new photographic skills!  OR  Think about how inspirational you will be when your family sees you taking care of your body and health.  OR Think about how fun it would be when your child asks you to teach them how to play an instrument because they want to spend some time with you doing what you love.  OR  Think about how you can handle life’s stresses and arguing kids more positively because you learned how to meditate and just breathe.  OR Think about how sexy your new confidence will be to your significant other because through this whole process you have learned who you are and how much you rock it and you cannot help but to love yourself for that.  Your new found self worth and self confidence will exude off of you and it will make everyone else better too!

So go ahead, be “selfish” and…

You deserve it (and so does your family)!