“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
and Live like it’s Heaven on earth.”
Four years ago I saw what hell was like through the eyes of my husband as I watched his mental illness take over his mind like a cancer. On May 17, 2011 he freed himself of all his pain and the hell that his mind created and left me a widow with our 20 month-year-old son.
The pain, confusion, and utter sadness was overwhelming and the struggle to keep that door closed was very real. Fortunately for me, I was somehow able to find that everything that I needed to help me get through that horrific and unfathomable time in my life was always right there.
In in the midst of all of the darkness I was able to grab on to the little bit of light that glimmered through and I have my son to thank for that. A twenty month-year-old child is full of wonder. They are experiencing life for the very first time and to them everything, even the most simplest of things, is new and exciting and amazing. At the age of 32, I found myself rebuilding a new life from the one that was shattered and what better and more genuine way to find a new appreciation for life than with and through the eyes of your own child.
Hope grows if you feed it and at first it was about survival. Books, quotes, blogs, photography, songs… were all things that I used to help keep me afloat. However, along the road of rebuilding a life and rediscovery, I came to the conclusion that if we, as humans, are capable of creating a hell here on earth, then we are certainly capable of creating our own version of heaven. And that is what I chose to do.
At the age of 37, I can honestly say that I am living the life that I want to live. It is empowering. It is invigorating. It is amazing. It is happiness inside and out. It is living.
A Moment’s Glory… Life is but a series of moments. When we are lucky enough to encounter an extraordinary one, a moment in all of its glory, it needs to be captured and treasured. That’s what makes life special and memorable. That’s what keeps happiness and hope alive within all of us.
As for those moments in-between, that is where the majority of our lives our lived. It is the process, our struggles, the down and dirty day-to-day routines that can leave us feeling defeated and exhausted. I know those days. I have lived them and I have come to appreciate them. Without them, we have no growth, no triumphs and no glory.
So here I am, with a new blog and a new purpose. My purpose and hope is to share (what I have used and learned from, and what I am still searching for, working and improving upon) pieces of positivity. I learned how to dance in the rain and how to keep my head up. I found that light and it shines bright for me, just as it does for all of you. I wish for everyone a happy and healthy life and many moments full of glory.
“When you live life in a thoroughly ordinary way, it is extraordinary.” Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche