In some ways starting with Emotional Intelligence as the topic for my very first blog post is like starting with the end in mind. While researching to gather more information on this topic, I was led to many business sites. I was surprised, at first. I understand why now, but since my focus is on children and social and emotional learning, I wasn’t thinking far enough beyond healthy relationships and the ability to thrive in society. How do you measure that though? One way, that I overlooked, was being good at your job.

What is Emotional Intelligence? Well, Emotional Intelligence or EI (also sometimes referred to as Emotional Quotient or EQ) didn’t pop up until 1990. Two American psychologists, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer first brought it to light and defined it as the following…

“We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” From “Emotional Intelligence”, 1990

https://www.verywellmind.com/quotes-about-emotional-intelligence-2795689

As a more visual person myself, let this graphic break that down.

As a teacher, we teach and practice these skills in the classroom. However, I’d say we do so more indirectly than directly. As an adult, these are skills that are required in the job force with employers expecting their (potential) employees to possess. Warren G. Bennis was a scholar and author who wrote over 27 books on leadership and he said this…

One word keeps popping up over and over as one of the most important qualities to possess in the business world and as a leader, and I will add on myself, as a human being… empathy. (Even Harvard Business School agrees!)

So what does this mean as an educator or parent? We need to be aware ourselves of our own level of emotional intelligence. We need to model and teach it more directly in the classroom and at home. How?

• Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) Programs
• Talk About Challenges with your Children… ask them how they feel and use the correct words to describe their feelings and emotions. (Use can this feelings wheel for reference.)
• Learn Emotional Social Cues… verbal language and words are important to detect feelings, but so are non-verbal cues as well. We can look for them in picture books that we read and t.v. shows that we watch with children.
• Work on Strategies… these are tools that your child can pull out and refer to when needed. The more strategies they have in their pocket, the more options and resources they have access to which will help them to become more confident and independent in their ability to solve problems.
• Reflection… talk about past reactions. Praise children for positive choices made. Discuss what other choices or options might have been more positive to use next time.
• Help Others… is there any better way to help build empathy?

The good news is, emotional intelligence is a learned skill and it can be learned at any age. So as an adult reading this right now, if you feel that you may be lacking in some areas of emotional intelligence (as I am 🙋‍♀️), there is hope! I have also found, as I am learning and growing in this area, that the same resources, skills and strategies for children… they work for us too as adults! A double win!!!

I hope this post leaves you feeling more knowledgeable about the importance of SEL and it’s impact on our brain and our interactions with the world around us. Stay tuned for the next post when I focus on the importance of language and the ability to identify, name and vocalize feelings and emotions, one of the strategies that we can use to help build emotional intelligence in all of us.

_{HelpGuide.org was very thorough with information on Emotional Intelligence as was Tickle Right, which is a more child-based, check them out!}