Social and emotional learning or “SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.” (https://casel.org/fundamentals-of-sel/)

It is not only inevitable, it is necessary as human beings, to interact, to make connections and to create relationships with one another. The quantity of these interactions may differ, but the quality of these interactions is what motivates us on so many different levels on a daily basis. It is so significant that one could convincingly argue that it is what life is all about.

But the struggle is real!

We are all so beautifully unique and flawed and the deeper you want to interact, the more we need to accept, understand, communicate, trust, and the list goes on. The more we open up, the more doors are also opened for potential problems to occur. What can we do?

The only control that you possess is the control that you have over yourself.

Let that sink in.

The. only. control. that. you. possess. is. the. control. that. you. have. over. yourself.

Whether or not you believe that is a simple concept, it is not an easy practice. Enter, The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz, it is based on Ancient Toltec wisdom. The Toltec were known as “men and women of knowledge.” They were scientists and artists from southern Mexico and thousands of years ago they explored spirituality. The Four Agreements is not based on religion but rather is a powerful code of conduct that anyone can practice, regardless of identification.

• Be Impeccable with Your Word
• Don’t Take Anything Personally
• Don’t Make Assumptions
• Always Do Your Best

These agreements can serve us as adults and in our adult relationships. They can also serve us as the adult in parent-child or teacher-student relationships. We are all a work in progress and the more knowledgeable and comfortable we are in our own social and emotional well-being, the better role models and leaders we can be in our homes and in our classrooms.